If you are already worried about turning your shoulder into hamburger then I doubt that you would want a magnum. You can't go in to shoot a magnum and be worried about the kick cause they are ging to kick. No way around it. If you have your mind made up about a gun hurting you then odds are that it will. Regardless if it actually did or not.

If you mainly want the rifle for white tail deer then II suggest a .243, .257 Roberts, 260 Rem, 7mm-08, .308, 25-06, .270. .280, or 30-06. Any of these calibers listed will take the largest of deer and some will work quite well for even larger game.