Recoil is subjective, and everyone has their own tolerance. My wife will shoot her .22-250 all day and never complain of recoil, but the one time she shot my SKS she said the recoil bothered her.

It's a catch 22, because you don't want to go too light and be undergunned, but at the same time, all the power in the world won't matter if she refuses to shoot it. My wife and I shoot together all the time, and she wants to hunt with me too. We're moving out west to Colorado next summer so we'll finally be in a rifle state. I just bought a .243 which I intend to eventually convert to a custom .260 Remington. After looking at all the calibers available that will fit a short action ADL, I settled on the .260 as the best compromise between power and recoil. With a good recoil pad in a standard weight rifle with 120-130 grain bullets it will be enough gun for mulies and elk without being a bruiser. It also affords the option to load it down to lighter bullets for practice and heavier bullets for showtime, as she won't feel the recoil when she's got a deer in her crosshairs, but she will still flinch if she developed it before the hunt.

Mike