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Old 11-12-2004, 03:32 PM
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LadyByrd
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
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Posts: 51
Default If dogs wrote letters to god

Sorry i just had to share this it was too funny not to!



If dogs wrote letters to God



Just knew you would like this Email ! Have a great day! Love , Dorothy
For you dog owners and those who love dogs and need a giggle.....
IF dogs wrote letters to God...


Dear God,
Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God,
When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old
story?

Dear God,
Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the
colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How
often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would
it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle! '?

Dear God,
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he
still a bad dog?

Dear God,
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals,
whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy
fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God,
When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?

Dear God,
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God,
Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be
a good dog:
- I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw
it up.
- I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I
like the way they smell.
- I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they
are tasty, they are not food.
- The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
- The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
- The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
- My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
- I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's
driver's license and registration.
- I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the
toilet.
- Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of
saying 'hello.'
- I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the
coffee table.
- I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
- I will not throw up in the car.
- I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across
the carpet.
- I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch
when company is over.
- The cat is not a squeaky toy; So when I play with him and he makes
that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

Dear God,
May I have my testicles back?
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