I have a XD9 4" and love it. 100% reliable. I also own two Glocks. Even though they are close in some regards they are completey differnt in others, the grip being one. A lot of people like the feel of the XD and I am one of them.

Let your wife handle one though and see if she can rack the slide. I know my wife and several friends wives have alot of trouble with racking the slide on the XD and Glock. I have given up on my wife ever racking it, am now looking for a decent 1911 in 9mm for her. Thumbing the hammer back and then racking the slide is very easy for her.