I'm assuming this is your first handgun, correct me if I'm wrong....

The Ruger P-97 is a great gun for beginners, in the manual safety version, it's probably at it's best for a beginner.
A) It's a polymer frame, so it's top heavy and balanced toward the muzzle when low in the mag...this means recoil is more rotational, which is nicer for new shooters, however, it increases muzzle hop a bit, but that's somewhat compensated by the balance towards the muzzle....So, you start out with a full mag, evenly balanced, it rocks back a bit, but as you run each round out, it gets more balanced toward the muzzle, which helps keep your muzzle under control while you're taking less and less steady shots.

B) The stainless P-97 is really nice for beginners since cleaning is a lot easier.

C) Take down is tool-less and very quick, I've only taken apart a Glock once (basically the same as the XD line), and I don't care to do it again.

D) They're big, but not overly heavy, so you keep tabs on them and aren't really likely to shoot yourself in the foot. They fill your hand but don't drag it down. And when someone breaks into your house and has a gun pointing at them, the bigger it is, the more their underpants will suddenly weigh.

E) They're cheap (relatively), but they're very well made and Ruger will appease any qualms you might EVER have with them.

I might suggest a Springfield 1911, great guns for sure, and they're really pointable for most people. They've also got a bit of heft to them.

I've shot a few XD40's, really nice feel, but they took a bit of getting used to for me, like you said, you've got to do a few things AT THE SAME TIME, which isn't easy to remember when in a home defense situation, especially as a beginner handgunner.