RE: .40 cal s&w
For home defense, I would recommend the .45acp. Has plenty of stopping power but with low enough velocity so you won't have to worry about shooting through the perp and into the room where your children are sleeping, ie no over penetration.
Ruger was not mentioned in your post as that is what I would recommend, maybe a P-97.
The Glock would be my choice of what you have listed.