let his friend kirk, who was visiting from oklahoma city with a pos mossberg 9200, have the merganser. he's originally from new orleans and eats all sorts of fishy things. like peel and eat shrimp. he doesn't peel them, he just eats them, even with the feathery parts of the tail. he probably eats nutria too.

he took a sniff of the bird and said "whew, that reeks. i think this will be good in some gumbo".

so he made some gumbo with the merganser. for some strange reason, all the flies and mosquitoes and other insects in his house decided to leave. so did some of the ticks and fleas that were on kirk. it also cured the itch he had down there. he got it from...