1:00am
- Alarm clock rings.
2:00am
- Hunting partner arrives, drags you out of bed.
2:30am
- Throw everything except the kitchen sink into pickup.
3:00am
- Leave for the deep woods.
3:15am
- Drive back home and pick up gun.
3:30am
- Drive like crazy to get to the woods before daylight.
4:00am
- Set up camp - forgot the darn tent.
4:30am
- Head into woods.
6:05am
- See eight deer.
6:06am
- Take aim and squeeze the trigger.
6:07am
- "CLICK"!
6:08am
- Load gun while watching deer go over the hill.
7:00am
- Head back to camp...
9:00am
- Still looking for camp...
10:00am
- Realize that you don't know where camp is...
NOON
- Fire gun for help - eat wild berries.
12:15pm
- Ran out of bullets - eight deer come back.
12:20pm
- Strange feeling in stomach.
12:30pm
- Realize you ate poison berries.
12:45pm
- RESCUED!!
12:55pm
- Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped.
3:00pm
- Arrive back at camp.
3:30pm
- Leave camp to kill deer
4:00pm
- Return to camp for bullets.
4:01pm
- Load gun - leave camp again.
5:00pm
- Empty gun on squirrel that's bugging you.
5:01pm
- Watch squirrel run away.
6:00pm
- Arrive back at camp, see deer grazing.
6:01pm
- Load gun.
6:02pm
- Fire gun - hit pickup.
6:05pm
- Hunting partner returns to camp dragging 8 point buck.
6:06pm
- Repress strong urge to shoot hunting partner.
6:07pm
- Fall in fire.
6:10pm
- Change clothes - throw burned ones into fire.
6:15pm
- Take pickup, leave partner and his deer in the woods.
6:25pm
- Pickup boils over - hole shot in block.
6:26pm
- Start walking.
6:30pm
-Stumble and fall, drop gun in the mud.
6:35pm
- Meet deer...
6:36pm
- Take aim...
6:37pm
- Fire gun, blow up barrel plugged with mud.
6:38pm
- Deer runs away laughing.
6:39pm
- Climb tree - bear walks by.
9:00pm
- Bear departs, fall out of tree.
MIDNIGHT
- HOME AT LAST!
Sunday
- Watch football on TV, slowly tearing hunting license into little pieces, place envelope and mail to hunting partner with very precise instructions as to what he can do with it!
?