Hi LordRipper (and hello to the rest of you guys/gals as well),

I've stopped by the forum once or twice and glanced around and always rather quickly moved on. I am not disabled or physically handicapped...but my son, David was. He had Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. For those that don't know....it's a degenerative disease, genetic, and his form (Duchenne) is terminal between teen to mid-20's or so. (Though some modern medical techniques have stretched out the life expectancy, and quality, a little.)

To make somewhat of a long story...somewhat shorter....David was in a chair pretty much full time by age nine. First a manual, and shortly after, a power. When I was stationed at Aberdeen Proving Grounds in the late 80's and early 90's, David took the hunter safety course, passed, and passed the shooting exam portion of APG's test. I would park my truck at our "drawn" area of Edgewood Arsenal, carry in our gear, and go back to the truck and "piggy back" David into the stand. (That was before he had spinal fusion surgery and he could still support his own head. Sometime prior to his surgery he came to a point that my piggy backing him was intolerable for him.) At the end of the day we just reversed the process. He never got a deer...but we sure enjoyed those hunts. As APG and Edgewood were shotgun only I purchased an H&R single barreled 20 gauge and equipped it with a Williams Peep sight. We unscrewed small aperature and just sighted in the "big hole" provided as the threaded sight. You never see the threads when looking through it. Just "one big hole"...a Ghost sight before that term became popular. We sighted it in with Brennekes for their extra effectiveness. But after the fact I realized that we should have used standard Fosters. The Brennekes are heavier...and kicked the daylights out of him when he qualified. APG's qualification was a 6" pie plate at about 75 yards, and you had to hit it 3 out of 5 times to qualify. David hit it his first three shots...and the tester saw the beating he was taking....and did not require him to shoot the last two shots. It took David nearly ten minutes to suffer through those three shots...that's how bad the felt recoil was for him...but to his credit....even when I suggest he quit...he didn't. (And yes...a more proud father never existed!)

One time in Pennsylvania a friend and I had a local farmer's permission to drive our truck into one of the back fields. He sat and supported David upright....I sat and was the "gun rest". The rifle David used that day was a Winchester 94/22 Magnum. (And with that muzzle only 12" or so in front of my face you'd better believe I closed my eyes....covered my ears...and grimmaced.) On that day he took the only "animal" he ever harvasted. A "trophy" woodchuck! Yes....even though we didn't have lots of money then....I had it mounted! (And I still have it....though after all the moves in the military it is showing its age. But as a side note.....the friend that accompanied us that day is now a Taxidermist...and has consented to "freshen up" the mount for us. Strage how life weaves its little circles!?!)

When we first moved to Alaska in 92 David was not mobile other than his chair. I had taken a Remington Youth model 7, chambered in .243 Winchester, and had it ported. (Always trying to reduce recoil.) David had a plexiglass tray that mounted on his chair...and we would "jury rig" a rifle rest. He enjoyed shooting that rifle at the range for sometime.....and we even went on a "truck camping/hunting trip" but he never got another shot at game. I don't think he minded...he just enjoyed being along. The day came that he no longer had enough strength to pull the trigger.....even when the gun was entirely supported for him. And like all the other "watershed" events...we realized another aspect of life was over for him.

He would sometimes go to the range with me after that...but didn't always want to....because other "less knowing" people would sometimes stare. (Which of course was the same as any where else...but he felt more out of place there because there was nothing for him to do.)

I lost him a little over a year ago...to a bad outcome of a surgical procedure...that was to improve his quality of life! He was my baby....my best friend....and my buddy! He is with me every moment of every day...often as not awake and asleep. There are few times that I escape the hurt, but I'd never trade it for the wonderful memories of those 21 years. And the pain is, I suppose, a very small price in comparison to all the wonderful things he was for me!

There are many experiences he and I shared together...that I'd love to share with others. Sometimes I do exactly that...as an outlet for my grief. And at other times I try to "close it away" for short periods of time in an attempt to shield myself from my grief. I've read...and been told....that time helps heal all wounds...and I believe that is probably true. But I know in my heart that the "pain may become bearable".....but in many ways....it will never have "the same joy" as before. Of that, I am certain!

I will from time to time stop by this forum. And I'd like to participate as much as I can, (heaven only knows I have no aversion to the subject). David use to tell his mother and I, "the next person that stares at me....I'll bark at". He never did, and he understood....that most people are just curious, and in many cases feel uncomfortable around people with disabilities....because they have no experience with those people. He also understood it would only take a few minutes of his "talking with them" to alleviate any concerns they may have had, and to help them understand he was normal....in every regard...except for his muscle disease.

He graduated High School with honors....planned on going on to college....and continued to "plan his life" up until the day he died. He was also becoming a very wonderful and interesting person....as well as a son. I will do my best to keep my promise to him, "to be okay", he worried more about his mother and I....and how his death would affect us, then he did about his own prognosis. And I am trying, desperately hard, to keep that promise! So I will try to stop by this forum and participate with the discussions. Though I can't yet promise how frequently. (So much for keeping this post short...huh?)

Didn't mean to bring anyone down....that was not my intent. Thanks in advance for letting a guy share!

Dave