Lots of topics in your last, so this will be a little scattered...

It's an AR, you should be able to watch your hits. Even in heavier cartridges like 6.8 and 6.5 Grendel, you'll be able to watch impacts without a brake. Try a 17rem AR in a 24" heavy profile sometime - THAT is low recoil!

Get your BCG properly lubricated, it'll likely start feeding for you - hence the reason your dad's NiB BCG ran well for you; the enhanced inherent lubricity of the NiB.

Your rifle is short stroking, meaning your action is starved for gas. Doesn't usually happen in factory carbines these days, so I'd be checking my gas block alignment and checking my tube for obstructions. Check the gas key to be sure it is tight, and check for gas leaks around the system. I answered a thread on another short stroking AR in the Gunsmithing forum last wk, check that out for troubleshooting. Personally, seeking out a hotter load to get it over the edge of reliability would not be on my list - I'd fix the problem.

The 60grn Nosler Partition is THE deer and hog bullet for the 223/5.56. I've used others in this service, but for deer in the AR, I likely will never use anything other than the 60 Partition from now on. The front of the bullet will expand like a conventional cup and core, a little more rapidly even, then stop at the shank. If you hit them at a high velocity, the tip will shed, and the shank will remain intact, penetrating deeply and typically exiting. Very similar in performance and function to the monometal bullets out there like the Barnes TTSX and Hornady GMX, but more reliable for lower velocity, longer range expansion. Very good bullet choice for 223/5.56 on deer and hogs.