Funny stuff seen/heard on hunting shows
I don’t have cable, but I’ve often seen other threads abouthunting shows and was a bit puzzled about some of the comments. However, I spent last month housesitting fora friend with cable, and I’ve noticed a few “interesting” things while watchingOutdoor Channel, Pursuit Channel, Sportsmans Channel, etc.
Of course, we should start with “a bit far back,” “smokedhim,” “I tell you what,” and “harvest.”
Hunter drops an elk with a spine shot, and the guide says,“Great shot!” Didn’t the hunteraccidentally hit it a foot high?
Whispering the range to the shooter with unnecessaryprecision: “He’s 213.6 yards away.”
Lowering the rifle from the shoulder between shots. (One TV hunter lowered the butt of hisshotgun almost to his KNEES before he racked the slide for a follow-up shot.)
Not knowing the difference between horns and antlers.
FIVE people (shooter, guide, main cameraman, host, andsecond cameraman) “sneaking” in on an animal and then wondering why it spooked.
Hunters stuffing an ENTIRE elk leg (bones and hide all theway to the hoof!) into their packs and hiking miles back to camp instead of takinga few minutes to skin/debone and greatly reduce the humpage factor.
“Brace height is the distance from the string to the Bergerbutton.”
Says “It’s 180 yards, but I have complete confidence in myXYZ muzzleloader,” goes prone, and manages a complete miss. (And his target wasn’t a ground squirrel; itwas a freakin’ brown bear!)
On one of those long-range hunting shows they shoot 780yards at a nice Sitka buck, and you can clearly see the contrail. When the bullet is halfway to the buck, hestarts to move forward. By the time theslug arrives, the buck has moved 4-6”. Fortunately, it’s still a fatal hit, and the buck drops after stumbling70-80 yards. Hunter says they are “allout of gas, so we’ll pick it up in the morning.” When they arrive on scene next morning, Mr.Buck’s belly seemed bloated, so I hope they were able to salvage the meat.
Dreadful grammar:
“I’ve did it before.”
“A doe had came out of the woods.”
“We seen the elk…”
“I had just went to my stand…”
“We done hiked twelves miles…”
“I come up the hill…”
“We was just getting into position…”
“Him and I drove to the farm…”
“Where you at?”
“Me and him were really looking forward to this hunt.”
“He’d only ran 50 yards before expiring.”
Ludicrous misuse of the word “literally”:
“My stomach was literally tied in a knot.”
“The buck came to us literally on a string.”
“My heart literally jumped out of my chest.”
“The buck literally walked on top of us.”
“The deer literally turned itself inside out as it escaped.”
“My head literally exploded when I muffed the shot.”
“The bull literally vanished into thin air.”
“We were literally sitting ducks.”
“Missing that deer literally turned my world upside down.”
“We were literally actually right on top of him.”
“The deer were literally hammering the soybeans.”
(Yes, I have too muchtime on my hands. I’m retired.)
Although many of these folks are probably good hunters (perhapsbetter than me), this past month has been quite entertaining -- but probablynot how the TV presenters intended!
What doozies have you seen/heard?