Mallard, or, as I like to say, " Mallart" .

Big, fat, curly-tailed, shiny, iridescent, greenheaded drakes, with orange feet.

Mallart, mallart, mallart.

Tornadoes silently circling the corn stubble, only their wings swooshing like jets as they pass overhead, growing ever closer.

Mallart, mallart, mallart.

Screw the hens, the Suzies. I want those drakes, with their maroon breasts, and perfect orange-yellow beaks, though a fine pale green will do.

Mallart, mallart, mallart.

And the feathers, almost fur-like, so dense, so thick, covering that hefty, blocky body.

Mallart, mallart, mallart.

No duck like the mallard. I love ' em, with passion. Just love ' em.