One other thing I would maybe discuss with your therapist is your son. And he is still your son too. From the description of his mother, you may have a shot to get him back. If you hound her to try to get him back or even spend time with him, she will dig in her heals. But act like you don't care (to her only, not your son). If she is what you say, her son will probably start to be an inconvience and she may want you to take him back. Just drop a suggestion that if she ever needs him to stay over so she can go somewhere, you are available and leave it at that. I am probably meddling where I shoudln't and you should definately run any ideas by your counselor, but backing off might be productive. Push too hard and she will do whatever it takes to keep him.