If he had, the article would have read something like this.......


HAMBURG, P.A. - The newest Cabela' s store has surely lost one customer: A rowdy deer.

The full-grown, antlered buck wandered in, then wandered around Monday for not more than 15 seconds before a large portion of the clientele showed their appreciation.

The store was jam packed with hunters and when all was said and done, nobody except the deer was hurt, said head manager Joseph Velelis.

As soon as the wayward buck was identified as not being part of the exhibit, it was a mad dash for the gun and bow racks.

At one point, the deer, which weighed between 160 and 180 pounds, was caught in a cross fire that looked more like the battle of Little Big Horn. Arrows flying from one direction, bullets from another.

Hamburg authorities contacted the closest butcher to recover what was left of the meat.

When all was said and done, over 4 dozen arrows and 500 rounds of ammunition were fired into the disoriented animal.

The 10,000-square-foot Cabela' s store is in a shopping center near countless acres of forest. A Hamburg wildlife official said he doubted wether any more deer would make this mistake again.