Yep I would have her pick up a Ruger SP-101 in a 38Spl./357mag and see how it feels. I've shot that gun with both rounds and it was very nice to shoot. I would guess that the 38Spl. would be fairly comfortable for her to shoot.
I noticed that you also mentioned a 9mm. I've been looking for a gun for my wife to defend herself and the house with when I'm gone. She picked up and handled the Ruger SR9c and found it to be very comfortable in her smaller hands. We will probably end up buying that gun. In fact, we would've that day, but I had a $1000 vacation to pay for the next week. Well anyway, just one for you start with if you go that route. I'm kinda pro Ruger right now, but I'm sure Smith&Wesson and a few of the others probably have a gun that would also fit your needs.