This has nothing to do with MLing but I hope you find this as amusing as I have now that it is all said and done.
Ok guys. I am the type of person that if I have to be somewhere my internal clock usually wakes me up in the morning. I do set the alarm just in case. Well today I had to get up at 0600 to be in Philly for around 0830. Well my internal clock was runninga bit fast so I woke up at 0430 (or O'dark thirty). Let the dog out to pee and bring in the paper. Had breakfast and read the paper, did the crossword, jumble and cryptoquote. And now's when the fun starts. Dog has to go pee again so I let her out. Nice morning so I leave the front door wide open and step outside standing on the walkway. My lab starts nosing around the arborvida (spelling?) tree out front and out pops a chipmunk. Armed with only a cup of coffee this crazy beast is on a dead charge at me with my lab in hot pursuit. At the last second the chipmunk banks hard left and i realize - oh crap the door. Chipmunk is screaming across the tile floor, lab hits the tile and slides sideways loosing her footing and bounces off the wall. Chipmunk heads straight for the sliding glass door at the back of the house, leaps, bounces off the glass, turns left and disappears around the corner. I'm turning over sofas, chairs, the dog's in a panic looking for the chippy. Too late, got to get going.
Going down the interstate I spy a nice fiberglass 6' ladder on the shoulder. But too narrow to pull over so I check the mile marker and head to the exit a couple miles up the road. I know there is a 2 lane road that parallels the interstate about 50 yds off of it so I exit and backtrack. Sure enough, there is the ladder. I pull over on the side road and walk down to get it. Just before he embankment to the interstate is a stream about 5 or 6 feet wide. (probably only about 3' any other year). No problem, I can jump that! WRONG. Leather dress shoes I found are not made for planting your foot on wet grass to leap a stream. The sequence went something like: plant, slip, stumble and next foot goes into about a foot of water and 6" of nice soft gooey mud.
but I got the ladder. A nice Werner fiberglass in perfect condition. And used my Polish enginuity to use the ladder to traverse the crick on the way back. Next 1 1/2 hours spent driving down the hwy at 70 mph with heater blasting and windows open. But I was dry when I arrived. Oh yeah, plucked off a couple ticks enroute too. Finally got back home. Asked the dog where the chipmunk was and she ran right to the big screen TV which is set in an entertainment center. OK I'll take your word for it. I opened the slider to the back deck - which by the way is about 12" above ground level. Pull out the TV. Chippy tries to exit left and gets cornered between the fireplace and the lab, make a U turn, runs back behind the TV, out the other side, behind the sofa and making a mad dash to the open door. Lab sees it and is off after it. Iguess the chippy figuered he would risk a jump rather than being a lab snack so across the deck, under the banister and jumped clear of the deck. I ran outside to see him scurrying across the grass what looked like no worse for wear. Now I need a drink but at least my nuts are safe.