I ain' t smart enuff to act like nuthin' I ain' t. Yessiree, I' m pure mountain man right down to my long handles, a fine specimen of manhood ! I can lick any 3 men' s weight in bobcats an' spark a week' s worth of wimmins in the same night. I' m known to drink warm kerosene an' prefer my liver raw. I can outrun, outwalk, outdrink, an' outshoot men half my age, an' still have sumthin' left fer their wives. I' m a lean, mean, mountain machine. I still got ever tooth I was borned with to boot!