The only deer I've ever killed that I've been "ashamed of" was the one I shot by mistake this year. And even that, I tagged and butchered. I hunt more than anything for the meat. Yes....the antlers of the 7 point I got this year are nice to look at and touch...and it was 20 years in the making for me....but more than anything I want to put meat in the freezer. Can I afford to just buy the meat. Yes. And if I spent my hunting time working at a second job I could probably buy much more meat than I am able to hunt. But I hunt for many things. I hunt to connect with nature....with myself...for the thrill and for the kill. There is so much satisfaction when you take a deer. And like you, I hunt on public land and ANY deer you take there is a damned fine deer.