mitchmtm1 - I hope you are right. I think I need to find a way to come to terms with not knowing and accepting that, either way, I don't have him. I am a wreck because of this now. On the way home last night, I totally missed my exit and had to drive all the way around the city. Then I took a detour to get gas. And forgot. And this morning while shaving, I forgot to shave my neck. I bet my coworkers think it is sexy.

He was standing still and broadside when I fired, and I have not missed a shot yet (longest shot 140 yards offhand). Even though my heart pounds up into my throat when I see a deer (especially this close!), I do not get shaky with buck fever. My hands are always ice cold. But maybe it was the left-handed thing.

I will still look some more tomorrow, but if I don't find him, I think it will be a long time before this one no longer eats at me.