Newbie hunters would find a way to work eight hours in a tree stand.

"I did not see that deer sneaking by the tree stand. I was too busy making a conference texting message back to the office."

"What do you mean you're taking the day off to go in woods? When did you lose that texting cell phone?"

"The new tree stands are coming out with a fixed, large print, texting machine, just for the busy hunter."