1- I don't drink, so no beer for me, although one could if they wanted to.

2- I'm happily married, but my wife and kids are in Colorado, so no women (I wholeheartedly believe in "until death do us part," not, "until a lot of miles do us part").

3- I'm missing everything with my kids - 1st day of pre-school, birthdays, holidays, etc. I'm working in a 24-7 environment so we don't automatically get holidays off, etc. These are things I'll never get to repeat. There are a lot of "firsts" at their ages, and I'm missing every one of them.

4- The crime rate in DC is worse than the violence in Iraq, and for the first time in my adult life I'm unarmed!

5- I was fighting the Republican Guard when you were in diapers! Now that was fighting; they were a professional military, after all. I also ate MREs for 10 months with no "A" rations EVER!!! There was no such thing as a DFAC in those days, no containerized housing units, no air conditioning, etc. You kids don't know what war is!

6- When you have 16 years of service under your belt, then perhaps I'll take a ribbing from you...then again, by the time you have 16 I'll be up to about 31! I have lived in more foxholes, humped more miles, been shot at more times, spent more nights away from loved ones, and eaten more MREs than you know are possible right now.

7- Happy hunting. They're not deer, but you have my blessings to shoot every terrorist azzhat that crosses your sector. Daily bag limit: Unlimited.