There is no such chart that I'm familiar with. Crossbow arrows are undergoing so many changes recently that it's hard to keep up with the issue. Weight is important but so is FOC (forward of center ratio). Parker (and others) came out with their Red Hot arrow with built in FOC.
I would look to the manufacturer specs for you bow for minimum weight requirements. Spine is a non issue IF you use arrows meant specifically for crossbows. Not knowing the kind of bow you're shooting, I can't advise you on arrow weight. FWIW I shoot 405 wt arrows in my 290 and 315 fps bow but 445 in the 365 fps compound. A heavier arrow puts less stress on bow component is quieter and delivers more kinetic energy.
Don't be surprised that the Cabella's guys don't know about this topic. Most of em SELL crossbows, most I've talked to have never hunted with one; "shot it in the back room" at best.