Yes, heavier bullets will kick more than lighter ones with the same powder charge. Hornady XTP's are great bullets - lots of people here on this forum have used them extensively (including me).

If you're worried about recoil, I'd suggest a 240 or 250 grain XTP with about 80 grains of powder. That won't kick very much. If you want to reduce recoil even more, you can do what Underclocked said and use the .40 cal 200 grain XTP with a 50/40 sabot with the same powder charge.

My friends daughter (14 years old) shoots a Traditions with a 240 grain XTP and 70 grains of powder and it doesn't bother her at all. She's also taken several deer with this load.