RE: New Handgun
If you go with a 9mm, I suggest getting one that is approvedby the manufacturer for at least +P ammoif it isto also serve as a house gun. Being approved for+P+ would even be better. With a 45, being approved for +P is a nice option. If you go with a 45 make sure it is a 45ACP and not a 45GAP or some other 45 cartridge in a semi-auto.
I don't like magazine disconnects on a defensive firearm. I also do not like internal locking mechanisms designed to keep unauthorized people from firing the firearm. Handguns from more than one manufactuer with an internal locking mechanism has failed at my club. I also do not want a safety on a defensive handgun unless it is a single action 1911 - realize that I have had quite a bit of training and experience, andI still continue to take certified and non-certifiedcourses.
Since you are new to handguns, I suggest a striker-fired handgun. I would also suggest a loaded chamber indicator and a cocked indicator. Night sights would also be good. Night sights can be added later, but checkto see what the cost would be for night sights on the after-market. Some guns use a non-standard sight mounting system sonight sights for thosehandguns will be higher and may be harder to find. A picatinny railmay come in handy for a light or laser.
Take a look at the Springfield XD and XD(M) - be aware that mags are not interchangable between the XD and XD(M). H&K also makes some nice handguns. Glock is another option - beaware thatpeople either love or hate Glocks. Personally, I do not care for Glock. Finda firearmthat fits your hand and natural point of aim well. You mentioned belonging to a club. See if you can shoot several different models in the different calibers (you provide the ammo). Find out if the firearm is stock or has received custom or after-market work. Sometimes people have a trigger job or some other type of work done on a firearm. If you have instructors at your club, I would ask more than one ofthem their opinion on how the gun fits your hand.
A standard pressure9mm will have less recoil than a 40S&W or 45ACP. Also be aware the recoilof a 40S&W is more of a snap, and the recoil of a 45ACP is more of a push. If you have no problems with the recoilfrom a 357 mag with a 4 inch or shorter barrel, you should have no problems with a 9mm, 40S&W or 45ACP.
I strongly suggest you receive proper training. The NRA Basic Pistol course would be a good starting point. At my club, we also work on accuracy in this course.