It was fight or flight for the quikkiemeister. As I turned to run away, I fell on my ass and flung my camera phone down across the ice. He was growling and coming at me like a madman. Kicking and screaming, sprawling and crawling - trying with everything I had to bust him in his mean little furry face with a fleeting heel-kick.

Lucky for both of us, neither one of us could get any damn traction. He was giving it all he had - and was hell-bent on gnawing my white ass to shreds. His feet were going a hundred miles-an-hour, but he was getting nowhere. I was just hoping to get away with ten fingers, ten toes and a cell phone that was still in one piece.