Proff

Well, the fact that you are on here asking the question means that in your heart you really want to mount it and are hoping for some positive reinforcement from other members here, overriding the negativeparental advice that you have received from your father. This is a diagnosis of a classic case of CMRD, or Cognative Mountal Reinforcement Disorder. It typically strikes young and new hunters who are so proud of their first deer that theyare stricken by the need to mount the deer and be able retain the memory and the happiness of their first successful hunt. Unfortunately, the downside of the disorder is that there will usually be someone very close to the patient that will suffer from TRABE, or That Rack Ain't Big Enough. I have successfully treated several of my patients that suffer from CMRD, and am happy to report that they have moved on to live very happy, productive, successfuland fulfilling hunting lives. Since it is the Holidays and I am in a very giving mood, I will agree to treat your disorder and waive all fees. My treatment is very simple. The steps to successful treatment are
#1. Look at the rack carefully, study it and relive the hunt in your mind!!
#2. Disregard any negative advice you receive.
#3. Load the deer head and cape into your vehicle and deliver to the taxidermist of your choice.
#4. Pick out the mount you desire, put down the required deposit and leave with a huge smile on your face.
#5. When the taxidermist calls informing you your mount is done, drive to his shop, pay the balance and leave with your TROPHY!!!! It doesn't matter what ANYONE else says or sees in your deer, it is YOUR deer and it is YOUR TROPHY!!! That is all that matters. Now leave with an even bigger smile on your face.
#6. Hang up your trophy in the place you desire ( chances are this deer will make a few different moves with you. The wonderful thing is, it will look incredible wherever it hangs and the great memory of the hunt will never dimish!) and by now it will be physically impossible to produce a smile any bigger without tearing facial flesh!!

Please follow all these steps and you will be cured from CMRD.

I wish you the biggest congratulations on your first buck. It has been over 25 years since I killed my first one. A basket racked 7 point. It hangs in my trophy room with many other mounts. As a matter of fact, it sits directly across the room from my biggest buck to date, which is actually a full body mount. And trust me, I get just as excited at looking at the small 7 point that was my fist bow kill as I do looking at the full mount of my 159" buck. No one can ever take that joy of that memory from me, and I am so glad that I mounted it.

So, my prognosis is that you do indeed suffer CMRD, and the only treatment is.. MOUNT THAT BUCK!!!!!

Thank You for choosing my practice for your hunting mental health needs.

Dr. Proffitt, Doctor of Hunting Disorders, DOHD

Disclaimer: I am not an actual doctor, but I do play one in the forums.