I feel exactly the same way you do, NY. Exactly.
I've had to take a step back, personally, and realize that every time I shoot, drag, etc....an animal has paid the ultimate price.
I've got a buddy that's killed probably 200+ deer. We were talking last Saturday night about this (drinking a few Newcastles
). We both agreed that the fact that they are most times silent allows us to not have to come to grips with this very often (ending their lives). As we talked I knew where it was headed....as we'd both talked previously about having a deer bawl at you on a shot. Again....we both agreed....if they ALL did this....we'd both quit killing them. Honestly.
I've probably taken for granted the fact that they are DEAD, before. I had a little talk with myself about that, this year.