ORIGINAL: Lanse couche couche

I would suggest burying a bunch of claymore mines all around your house to deal with the thief. But keep your dog in the house because sometimes even a small dog will set off a landmine. If you can't find claymores then dig a bunch of 5 foot deep pits and line them with fire-sharpened sticks that are coated with AIDS-infected blood, then cover the holes with branches and dirt. If youuse enough branches and dirt, the dog should still be able to roam about the yard without falling in the pits. Happy hunting.