Hunting and Fishing Jokes -

It was a hot summer' s day, and Luke was in the marina, having a few beers aboard his boat, patriotically named the " Fourth of July."

He was waiting for his friend, Opie, to arrive so they could go for a cruise. Opie was late, unfortunately, because he had to pick up his wife from her appointment with the obstetrician.

Her examinations were cheap because the doctor, a fellow named Juan, was Opie' s cousin. Anyway, the appointment went over time, and Opie was late getting to the marina.

Luke had been drinking all this time, and was feeling no pain. When he saw Opie finally walking down the pier, he jumped up, staggered to the side of the boat to wave to his friend, and nearly fell in.

Opie got there just in time to grab Luke. Thus, it was that O. B. Juan' s kin, Opie, saved Luke from falling to the dock side of the Fourth.



One day while driving home from his fishing trip in the pouring rain, a man got a flat tire outside of a monastery. A monk came out and invited the man inside to have dinner and spend the night. The motorist gladly accepted.

That evening the man had a wonderful dinner of fish and chips. He decided to compliment the chef.

Entering the kitchen, the man asked the cook, " Are you the fish friar?" " No," the man replied, " I' m the chip monk."



A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion.
The visitor asked, " when did you bag him?"
The host said, " that was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife. It was a most enjoyable hunt. That lion is stuffed with something special."
" What' s he stuffed with?," asked the visiting hunter.
" My wife."



Saint Peter stood at the Pearly Gates of Heaven as three men stood in line waiting to enter.
Peter asked the first man in line, " Before I let you in, I have to ask you a question. What was your I.Q.?" The man answered, " 180." Peter replied," What were you? A rocket scientist?" " Yes, sir," the man answered. " Ok, go on in," said Peter.
The next man came up to Peter. He asked the same question of him. " 160," replied the second man. " What were you, a brain surgeon?" Peter asked the man. " Yes, sir." He was allowed in.
The next man came forward and was asked the same question. " 68," he replied. " Well," said Peter, " did you get your deer?"


According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed. The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated: Wash. Biol. Surv.; until the agency received the following letter from an Arkansas camper:
" Dear Sirs:
While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I want to tell you, it was horrible."
The bands are now marked Fish and Wildlife Service.


If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of bullets at an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce all the world' s great literary works in Braille.