Well, my first 4 choices would be:
1) S&W J frame 4" in 38 spl
2) Kahr 9mm
3) Glock 19 9mm
4) Springfield XD 9

Let grip fitr to her hand and trigger reach be the deciding factor. Then look for maintenance insensitive guns like the Glock 19 or XD-9. Avoid short barrels and poor balance when loaded. The XD and G 19 will feel unbalanced w/o ammo in them. They should be ok loaded.