As someone who initially pursued the same career you are considering to the point of getting my undergraduate degree in journalism with a minor in wildlife and fisheries science I think I can give you some insight that will help you. At least I hope I can.

As the others have said, clean up your grammar and spelling errors. I won't belabor that point.

Now, let's talk about your content. The story is good and flows well, but there are some things you can improve upon. You know what you want to say, but you are not conveying what you are feeling to the reader. You tell the reader what you are feeling. In a story you want to put the reader in your place, not report to them what happened. You want the reader to feel your excitement, your frustration, your desire, etc. It's all about the details.

For example, you talk about how the temperature is dipping and you got cold so you got some coffee. Not bad, but if you really want the reader to feel how you felt write something like this:

"As the hours past and the mercury fell my fingers could no longer detect the tips of my gloves. I clenched and opened my hands to get the blood flowing, butby the time it reached my extremeties it had lost all of its warmth. The moisture condensing on my face mask caused a loss of sensation in my chin and nose. I could hear mychin whiskers scraping on the cloth of my mask, but could not feel its friction. After pouring some coffee the pin pricks in my finger tips let me know that the caffenated nectar was doing its job and was like a burst of warming sun flowing to my corewith each sip."

You have to pretend like you are the reader when you are writing so that you can give the reader all of the pieces he/she needs to live what you are writing in their mind.

The best suggestion I could give on how to learn how to do this is to read some books by good writers. They will illustrate what I am talking about and are far better than I am at doing what I have described.