1) Everytime you loaded your family into the car to go to church Sunday morning, someone blatantly popped your tires so you could not attend

Establish an alarm system on my property.

2) You were training for the Olympics and were a month out....everytime you put your backpack in the lockers, someone stole all of your vitamins, minerals, and training aides

Get a better locker/surveillance equipment.

3) You were a professional fisherman...everytime you set out to go fishing, someone poured salt into your engine and you had to pay for it to get fixed

See no. 1 and no. 2.....i.e. locking gas cap.

4) You picked your daughter up from the recreation center, and everytime you went to pick her up, someone was smoking outside and blowing the smoke every which way without regard to her health...even when you asked them to please stop over and over

If it's illegal for them to be smoking ,there.....I'd photo them smoking there and turn them in (if it really bothered me that much). If it wasn't illegal....I'd tell my daughter to stay away from smokers (and likely tell her to do this even if it was illegal for them to smoke, there. We run into this all the time in restaurants).

5) Your neighobor hated hunting, so everytime you left your hunting clothes outside to air out...they poured urine on them.........

See no. 1.