RE: .45 BH209 Powerbelt load advice
I haven't used BH209, but if you want to find a lower recoil load IMO Powerbelts are not the way to go. Personally, in the .45 I've used the 225 grainers, and I wouldn't use anything lighter than that for deer because of the terminal performance issues. The 225 grainers might kick a bit much for women/children depending on their comfort range, especially with 80 grains of powder. The 195 grainers and 60-70 grains of powdermight be a decent short range load without too much recoil, but I've never shot them and am skeptical about their light weight and poor sectional density.
Personally, for a light recoil load I would get some MMP .357/.45 blue sabots and some good quality .357 hollow-point pistol bullets in the 150 grain range (XTP, Nosler, Gold Dot, etc.). Load with 60-70 grains of powder, depending on what shoots most accurately. That should give you a lighter-recoiling load and still good performance out to 100 yards or so.
My 2 cents...