Astory from the files of Swine Hunters In Texas
The sun has set on another Swine Hunters In Texas gathering, and one that I hope will become a annual event for all of us. The foursome included the High Priest/Wizard, Witch Doctor, Queen, Harley Dog and yours truly the Pooba. We all gave each other these names what can I say.

It was great, a lot of work but always great to enjoy the company of your friends and fellowSwine Hunters In Texastypes. We share one thing in common we are all full of it. To capture all that happened in the all to short weekend we all had together would fill pages of this entry. Some of the details of our trip might be a little bent and distorted depending on the level of intoxication I was in at the time they happened. The only thing that I have going there is that everybody else was also in different levels of intoxication also. So no one can be sure who's accounts of the weekend are the most correct. I hope that others will post their own versions of the facts. It seems the Wizard has already posted a denial of his actions, which by his own omission has convicted him in the court of Swine Hunters In Texas.
There were several notable events this weekend but the one that stands out the best is the "GREAT PIG SHOOT" that happened Sunday night and early Monday morning, I mean really early early Monday morning. This is how it happened and since the Pooba was the only person awake it makes sense that I Pooba speaking with straight tongue will inform and enlighten all who read with truth and justice for everyone except the Wizard.

Sunday was a long busy day for all. Some were hunting, others (the queen) were drinking excessively!!!! Ask her about the softball size shiner (that started as a peanut size) she has on her posterior end! One, should never drink then try and ramble up and down the mountain! The Queen fall down and go boom. Eventually all regrouped at camp to take in food, and more drink for the night upcoming. The Wizard was just going to bed, when the Pooba said "if you want a pig you have to hunt on their time not yours". I told the great Wizard that if you go up in the PIG BLIND that I would stand lookout while he read the inside of his eye lids. If and when the great Wild Pig arrived that I would awake the Wizard from his meditation so he could take a shot. This was about 12:00 midnight when our two hunters marched off into the dark.

While in the "PIG BLIND" all was a inky black darkness only broke up by the illumination of the 3 solar lights mounted so they lit up the sweet corn that was left out earlier in the day for the Swine. It was not long before the Great HIGH Priest ofSwine Hunters In Texaswas rattling the tin sides of the blind with his chain saw snoring. It is a wonder how anything came in, but at least the chain saw nosies coming from the Wizard would keep me awake. The Pooba watched hard and long for over 2 hours, when I noticed some movement down in the feeder area. I peered through my trusty looking glasses to see not just one but several PIGS starting to eat our offerings. The Pooba then instead of just picking up my 45-70 rifle (which by the way is still a virgin) and shooting a pig, took the great sacrifice and gently awoke the Wizard to take the shot.

This is where all the fun begins. It should be noted that earlier the Pooba asked the Wizard if his thunder stick was ready for action. You know loaded, scope ready that sort of thing. The Wizard announced with certainty that not only was his thunder stick ready, but so was he. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Once the Wizard was awake he made himself ready for the kill. It was then that the Pooba realized that the Wizard didn't have his thunder stick loaded, so the noise of a bolt being brought back and pushed forward rang out through the night silence. I watched as the Pigs jumped around and started to get nervous about their being in the feeder area. They did recover from this noise and continued their eating of the offerings before them. Once the Wizard finally had a loaded thunder stick he decided to bump the thunder stick against the wall of the blind. Well this noise made the Pigs jump again and now they where really nervous to say the least. The Pooba at this point was about ready to B____ Slap the High Priest. I announced that "i am not staying up all night so you can just test the hearing ofwildPigs".

Well the Wizard was now ready to take his shot, the Pigs where still in the feeder area all was ready for the kill. Wrong, not ready, the Wizard then realized that his scope covers where still on his thunder stick, and he could not see S___. In the process of removing the scope covers that where the type that where connected with a elastic bands, he removed the rear cover only to lose his grip on it and sent it shooting forward like a rubber band gun into the side of blind window. This was the last straw for the already very nervous Pigs in the feeder. The Pooba watched as the Pigs darted, jumped, ran, and just basically evacuated the feeder area as fast as they could. Then the Great HIGH Priest/Wizard said, "I don't see any Pigs down there". This met with a quick comment from the Pooba about the Wizard's previous actions. At this point the Wizard was informed that he could go back to sleep and if I saw anything that would dare to be stupid enough to come back he would be awoke again.

The Wizard went back to sleep, the Pooba stayed the course and watched faithfully for another hour or so. When to the Pooba's amazement he saw another pig enter the feeder area around 3:00 AM. The Pooba once again awoke the Wizard and was told that "if I heard the scope covers one more time, that they would be shoved up a certain orifice of the Wizard". The Wizard pulled his mighty thunder stick up put the black pig in his cross hairs and pulled off a shoot that drooped this pig to the ground in his tracks. HOORAY the kill has been made.

After the shot was made we waited a moment to make sure Mr. Pig was dead and it was. The Pooba made several attempts on the radio to awaken the Witch Doctor who at this time was in the HK Blind on the hillwith the jeep parked up there with him. Finally the Wizard and Pooba heard a sleepy voice come back asking what was up. I informed the Witch Doctor that we needed the jeep for moving the Pig and if he had heard the shot ring out in the quiet night air. The Witch Doctor promptly asked "what shot". Egad, only the Pooba seemed to be awake. I knew the Queen would be awake with Harley Dog, once again I was wrong. There could have been a hoard of wild Indians attacking and no one would have noticed.

Soon we had the pig back in camp and hanging from the cleaning tree where all members of Swine Hunters In Texas in attendance gathered around to watch as the Wizard and Witch Doctor commenced the field dressing operation in the lights at 3:30 AM. The Pooba went to the camp and sat next to the fire and had a cup of coffee and to savor his skills as a game watcher.

Once the butchering was completed the Wizard went to bed, the Queen and Harley Dog went back to bed, and the Witch Doctor and Pooba went up to the HK Blind to continue hunting since daylight now was only a couple hours away.

This event was only one of many, but it was the one needed to be told first. I am sure there will be comments that may not agree with mine, but then nobody was awake other than the Pooba so any other versions of this story would only be hearsay, and guess work on the comment makers.
To paraphrase a unknown person "when the truth of a legend is known, always print the legend".

Lots of storys and pictureslike this if you want please stop by our website at[/align]www.swinehuntersintexas.com for more of this insanity and fun.[/align]