Mossy,

Here is the Hooker guide to women:

1) Make a woman sincerely laugh. I'm not talking about making her chuckle. Make her laugh like she laughs only with her girlfriends. The girls know what I am talking about.

2) DO NOT CATER TO HER EVERY NEED. I know I sound like an ass when I say that, but women like strong men. If you just cater, you will quickly become "just a friend". Don't be that guy.

3) When talking to a woman, keep the conversation on her. Always try to end your statement with a question for her. Women like talking about themselves, even if they deny it, which they will.

4) Don't try too hard, but also don't do too little.

5) When talking to a woman, stay on topics that you have knowledge of. If she begins to venture onto something that you know nothing about, change the subject quickly. The trick is to appear more intelligent than you really are.

6) Make fun of her. Especially if she is hot and is used to men treating her like a goddess.

7) And lastly, like everyone else here has mentioned. Do not try to be something you are not. If you aren't that funny, don't try to be funny. If you aren't that cool, don't try to be cool. Play the cards that you were given.