Comparing Alyssa and me illustrates perfectly why you can't make any blanket statements about what women look for in men. My husband and I both have a sense of humor, bizarre at times. But mostly we tend to be fairly serious. We hardly ever watch TV. Like we have never seen American Idol or any of those reality shows, which I gatherare very popular.

I like being taken care of and I'm anything but wildly independent. It's not exactly politically correct for a girl to admit it but I'm actually fairly submissive. You would think my mom, having given birth at 15 and been a single working mom all her life would be wildly independent but she's about as submissive as I am. Her true self has come out since she got married last summer. Of course there was also the time she threw her boyfriend's stuff out on the sidewalk and ran him out of the house threatening to kill him with a hedge trimmer. (Not the guy she married,)

And there are girls who will work to support a guy who lays around the house all day watching TV, then goes out drinking, comes home drunk and slaps her around, or worse.

I don't try to conform to what I think my husband wants and he doesn't try to conform to what I want either. We spent about five months getting to know what each other was all about before there was any physical contact. And by that I mean no kissing, no petting, nothing. Of course, when the time was right, it happened.

So I guess you just look for somebody you like who is looking for somebody like you. And don't try to conform to what you think someone else wants in a mate. That will turn into the kiss of death for your relationship.