ORIGINAL: quiksilver

I was running down a crippledgobbler one time and put my right ankle in a groundhog hole. It didn't break, but I think just about every ligament and tendon was damaged. No surgery, but it's still a mess, 10 years later. I had to crawl out through the field to recover the bird, then crawl back to the car. I got stung by a bee while I was crawling, which added insult to injury.

Another time, I was guiding a guy and he emptied his gun on a big tom. It was gonna get away if I didn't do something, so I ran it down like a leopard and gave it a Bill Goldberg Human Spear. Feathers went everywhere and I came out of the ordeal with a dead turkey and a separated shoulder. Ouch.

If my mother would've been around on either of those occasions, I'd still be eating soap.