RE: trip to a pawn shop (wife will be proud)
Corey, if you're really desperate for a job and don't mind relocating, I can help you out with a job. It pays more than I've ever made in my life, and you don't actually do anything. I've done more reading at work in the last year than I think I ever did in high school. The down side is you would have to relocate out to WY. So, let me know.