Headline news: "Local Man Dies In Hunting-Related Accident" - Billybob Clampett, 19, of Podunk, Mississippi died in a bizarre turn of events after slicing his fingers and exposing them to adeadly chemicalwhile applying aspecial coatingto his hunting arrows. Investigations are ongoing, but authorities have ruled out foul play. "This guy never was really smart to begin with. I'm surprised he didn't try to eat the stuff." - Barney Fife, Podunk P.D.