RE: ANYBODY FROM WASHINGTON STILL AROUND???
My wife forwarded this to me from her father. It explains alot about us Mississippians; and I thought it was pretty funny, so I posted it on here for your enjoyment. For those of you who need further explanation afterwards(and I'm sure there will be some), you can shoot me an e-mail or post questions here.<img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle>
"What a True Mississippian Knows"
Only a true Mississippian knows the difference
between a hissie fit and a conniption, and that you
don't "HAVE" them but "PITCH" them.
Only a true Mississippian knows how many fish,
collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make
up "a mess".
Only a true Mississippian can show or point out to you
the general direction of "yonder".
Only a true Mississippian knows exactly how long
"directly" is - as in: "Going to town, be back
directly."
Even Mississippian babies know that "Gimme some sugar"
is not a request for the white, granular sweet
substance that sits in a pretty little bowl on the
middle of the table.
All true Mississippians know exactly when "by and by"
is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept
well.
Only a true Mississippian knows instinctively that
the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got
trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl
of cold potato salad. (If the neighbor's trouble is a
real crisis, they also know to add a large banana
puddin'!)
Only true Mississippians grow up knowing the
difference between "right near" and "a right fur
piece." They also know that "just down the road" can
be 1 mile or 20.
Only a true Mississippian both knows and understands
the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and
po' white trash.
No true Mississippian would ever assume that the car
with the flashing turn signal is actually going to
make a turn.
A true Mississippian knows that "fixin'" can be used
as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
Only a true Mississippian knows that the term
"booger" can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive, as in
"that ol' booger", or something that jumps out at you
in the dark and scares you senseless.
Only true Mississippians make friends while standing in
lines. We don't do "queues", we do "lines"; and when
we're "in line", we talk to everybody!
Put 100 true Mississippians in a room and half of them
will discover they're related, even if only by
marriage.
True Mississippians never refer to one person as
"y'all."
True Mississippians know grits come from corn and how
to eat them.
Every true Mississippian knows tomatoes with eggs,
bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that
redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried
green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself
lookin'..," you know you are in the presence of a
genuine Mississippian!
Only true Mississippians say "sweet tea" and "sweet
milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and
lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened.
"Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
And a true Mississippian knows you don't scream
obscenities at little old ladies who drive
30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart"
and go your own way.
Hunt hard, live right, and tell your kids you love 'em!