ahhh man I feel for you i am a strong christian and i will be praying for you and his family bless you and his family God is always watching over you no matter what God loves you and he loves billy John 3:16 says that "For God sent his only begotten son so that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life".. in other words God wants you to dwell in heaven with him for eternity God cares for you If any of ya'll need Jesus in your heart ask him in to your heart so that he might enter in and dwell in you so that you can go to heaven Jesus loves you that he died on the cross for our sins............reply me or send me a email thingy but remember Jesus loves you!