Mark,

Sorry... I've been literally SWAMPED with work projects and while I've clicked on this thread from time to time, I just haven't had time to even start a response. Actually, your knots themselves don't look bad to me; it just looks like your loop is longer than you want it according to all you've said.

I'm not sure I can tell you anything more other than to pull that d-loop material tight alongside your string before starting to make your second knot... By doing that, it's easy for me to remove every bit of slack out of what is going to form up my actual loop, and I have to be cautious or I'll make my d-loop too short!