Jeff,
I think if they accept your invitation they should have the common decency to abide by your rules. To answer the question about being selfish......
On the one hand I can see your side of it,you're the one who tookthe initiative to provide a better habitat for the deer in your area to browse in. I'm not sure so correct me if I'm wrong but I believe you planted a food plot etc...
Includedwith this you did (and continue to do) all of the scouting and planning needed to get onto the big bucks that you now know are onthe property you hunt come fall. With all of that time and effort put into it and by the tone of this post you feel (I'm speculating now) you should be the one to hunt the big bucks.
Is it selfish? This all depends on the person you ask. For me I would say yes it is. I say this because I too ask friends and family to hunt one of my spots that I have sole permission to hunt. I (like you) ask them to come and help me thin out the does so that the overall population can be reduced (way too many deer). I also scout this area and continue to do so. I have also (hard to believe here in Illinois
)seen very big antlered deer on the property and I too am in the process of setting up a strategy to hunt them come fall.
However where we differ is I don't do anything to the land to promote the deer in any wayto say on it or to grow any bigger than they would naturally. We also differ because if I ask someone to hunt with me even if the mission was to take does I would never tell them not to take a shot at a big buck or any buck for that matter if they get the opportunity to do so, it's just not how I am. If my friend or brother-in-law shoots one, I'm nothing but happy for them, even if it's the slammer I've been looking for myself.
I would suggest either asking someone who you can trust to abide by your rules, to come hunt with you, or don't let anyone huntit.
With all due respect, for me it does come across as selfish.
EDIT: Just so I'm clear, I feel what the guys that you invited said to you was way out of line and selfish on their parts by telling you they would shoot at the bucks even when you asked them not to.