I have been playing with the 110 sierra pro hunter and I tried Varget 49 to52.3 grs,IMR 4064 49 t0 51.7 grs.and Imr 4350.the recoil wasn't bad at all.I got 3-shot one hole groups with Var=52.3 at 3265fps,Imr 4064=50.8 grs at 3250 fps and IMR 4350=56.6 grs at 3077 fps.These are with a 24 in barrel remington sps.The largest group was 1.1 inches at 100 yds.
The IMR 4350 with 56.6 grs would be the least recoil and at over 3000 fps it should work ok on those deer.I am thinking of trying it myself this year.
I got all these loads out of the new hornady manuel.
You may want to try the rem reduced recoil loads also I set up a nef for my brother to take his grandson deer hunting and they were pretty darn accurate,they use the 115 ulta cor-loc bullet,don't know how they done on deer he didn't see any when he took him.
Hope this helps.and good luck to your grandfather.