IF you reload have you considered the 7-08? All of the bullets available for the 7mm with the recoil that is comparible to the 260 or the 270. http://huntamerica.com/recoil_calculator/ this website will allow you to assess the felt recoil of the different calibers, loads you may wish to try. While personally I am a fan of the 280 it is not one my wife would enjoy, recoil on it is very similar to the 06. The 243 is the nicest for felt recoil. But I think the 7-08 is a gun either your wife or son will enjoy, and will not outgrow.

ps I like the 139 gr btsp