Do Not use the crate as punishment ! The crate is his "den" and a place to chill out and relax.
Don't slap his nose -- that's a very easy way to make a dog "hand shy". A stern NO! is all it takes, but the "punishment" must be DURING the "act" --- not even as much as 10 seconds after, or the pup will have no idea what it is ceing corrected for.

The pup should be in the crate whenever it isn't under direct observation/supervision. You will soon learn by constantly watching the pup, when it needs to go outside. When outside, use a command of some type (like "go potty") frequently until the pup does it's thing.

As for a "shock collar" (actually called an ecollar) the answer is NO! NO! NO!. An ecollar must be introduced correctly and certainly not until a pup is 4.5 to 5 months old. An ecollar is used to enforce an already known command, Never use an ecollar until you fully understand their function.
Do you have any kind of training book?

If he pees or poops in the crate, it means one or both of two thngs : 1. You aren't taking him out often enough
and/or
2. The crate is too big..........Dogs don't like to lay in their mess, so use a piece of plywood or something in order to make the crate small enough that the pup only has room to stand up -- move around very little and lie down comfortably.

Get the book/DVD/Tape "Sound Beginnings", bu Jackie Merten ASAP --- You need it big time. To me, it sounds like YOU (and your wife) are the ones with problems, and not the pup.



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