ORIGINAL: nodog
If I was your size I'd use the ground.

Ya know your not 275 all camoed up with gear. And all of it's got to get up there some how. The stands are tested at a lot more than they're rated at though.
Hope you work things out. Cougar 9 is looking for a deal on a climber.
And if I was Jimbo I would hunt you down Mafia style!