Thanks for all the replys.1) I have talked to her every year, sent them gift cards during the holidays and kept in touch during the summer too. I didn't seem like there wasever a problem between us. Shes very nice. 2) I couldn't help keeping a low profile from him. I had to go right past him either way. 3) I live in Michigan and this land is in Ohio. I have never met either people. Its always been by phone between me and her and only met the guy that one time. I only know his first name. That is it. I do agree the right thing to do is to meet him in person. Don't thing thats going to happen. I do know a distant relitive that I have met every year down there and do have his number. Maybe I will still write a letter to her to send to him and give the other relitive a call to feel out the situation. Maybe I haven't lost it yet. Thanks again. James