Very sorry to hear of the loss.
Should I make an offer to give them some $ for this stuff? I feel bad because they don't have any idea what they have. I think I will just take my check book and write them what I can and try not to offend anyone.
I think you have a very good idea. Talk with them, and let them know you are prepared to pay or donate if they'd like, but don't push them either way. Do more listening then talking.