TDWW

Your assertions regarding the Northern Whitetail could not be more wrong. Just last week, I was vacationing in the poconos when I decided to take a nature hike. I wassleeping in a Sycamore tree, on a particularly low branch, when a young whitetail buck emerged beneath me. He was distracted, indulging in a myriad of lush fauna, flora, forbs and shoots.

I pounced.

After a brief struggle, I had him secured in a Figure-4 submission leghold (using pressure point-specific grappling maneuvers). After he realizedmy power and athletic prowess, he stopped fighting, andallowed me toproceed witha field examination.

I noted that this was a particularly fine specimen with an exceptionally shiny coat. His muscle tone was spectacular, with good bulge and mighty strength.Antler growth was ahead of the curve, and his hoofs looked healthy with no sign of ingrown toenails or plantar warts. He was otherwise free of warbles, mites and other harmful saprophytes. I did remove a tick from his ear. He had no cavities.

He weighed approximately 182 pounds on the hoof, give or take.